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Becoming... (dedicated to Dr Roberts Liardon)

Writer's picture: Elizabeth 'Tayo DavidElizabeth 'Tayo David

As a young believer, my one prayer was ‘Lord, make me bear fruit’.


I was burdened with that for years. It was a preoccupation that I could not shift. I loved to watch, listen to, and learn from others who were ‘bearing fruit’. Marvelling at the myriad diversity of gifts available.


What my fruit was or would be was a complete mystery, so I prayed and got fixated on that, too.


To aggravate the issue, every leader thought they knew what everyone's fruit should look like, and if you were not bearing their version of fruitfulness, then you were not fruitful. You were barely taking up precious space. That was not intentional, but unfortunately, that was how most of us slow ones felt at the time. We just could not keep up with the fruit-bearing machine.


But, what is the natural process of bearing fruit?


Is it the same for every kind of herb, shrub, and tree? And, is it by an act of the will, by sweat and muscle?


A tomato is very different from an oak tree, but they are both fruit that proceed from a seed.  But, which is of more value?


If I am hungry right now, I need a ripe tomato. If I need shade in the future, I hope an oak tree is growing somewhere that would provide shade for me twenty or thirty years down the road.


Fruit therefore is relative, dependent on time and intent.


God determines the seed and the fruit, its time and its place. His time and intent are the pivots that make the difference.


If you are a tomato, please do not try to be an oak tree. Be a cheerful tomato.


If you are an oak tree, be consistent and persevere under the most severe of trials to become the big and bountiful tree you need to be. We will need the safety of your shade much later.


God has lovingly provided all we need for this life, and eternity.


What infinite wisdom!

He knows the future, if only we could have a bigger and higher perspective of His creation, salvation, redemption, and election. Or, The beauty and mystery of God’s will and ways.


Like fingerprints, the destiny of every individual is uniquely and purposefully different. Therefore, all we need to do is live and enjoy life. Breathe, eat, sleep, love, serve, give, and forgive – until we become.


We will Become.


Fruit cannot WILL to become. The seed determines the outcome, not the will.  We cannot will to do what only God can do. We live, learn, grow, and as we go, we become.



After a decade of praying and stressing over my fruit or lack thereof, one day on a flight to the US, a scripture popped into my mind:


You are who you are by the grace of God.

I knew the Apostle Paul had said it, so I looked it up and kept it in my heart. What I really wanted though was a label, like an evangelist, a teacher, or such, something concrete that I was familiar with based on the contemporary and historical models I have seen or read about.



And so for decades, I had no idea who or what I was called to be or do. I just did whatever service I could with the skills and abilities I had as I went about my business.



Here was my thinking:


I do not want to be a flower. Flowers mainly bloom and look amazing. They have no significant purpose. They are merely colourful and sentimental ornaments.


And so to avoid being a flower, I served in any capacity that opened and appealed. Some of these endeavours added very little value, and the Lord lovingly released me when I learned the lesson. However, some were life-shaping and added significant value if only to keep me rooted for long periods. How greatly appreciative and grateful I am for those long seasons of groundedness.


What I did not know was during all those decades of wondering and wandering something was happening - through the good, the bad and the ugly seasons – I was slowly Becoming.


It came to a head while driving home one day and again pressing the Lord for answers:


"God, where is my fruit? What is my legacy? What have I achieved? Who am I? Where am I going?"


(These are very valid questions of life and purpose. And, we should ALL ask them periodically).


And this time, suddenly, the Lord spoke. Very stern but very loving. He asked:


What is wrong with being a flower?

What??! I had never thought of that!!


Now, when God speaks let all creation be silent, take off your shoes and listen.


All of a sudden, the power and significance of the gift of flowers came rushing in.


·       What is the role of flowers in life - in the different seasons of life?

·       Why do we receive flowers?

·       When do we receive flowers?

·       What does it mean to us when we receive flowers?


I know flowers are given for many occasions – life celebrations and milestones, new beginnings and end of life, anniversaries, to express gratitude, love, sympathy, apologies, etc.


There are 60 reasons here to send flowers, and so many more.


Every day is enough reason to pick a fresh flower!! (My belief)


But, what do we feel when someone gives us a bouquet of flowers?


Excitement and delight? why?


Harvard Medical School describes it this way:


When we experience pleasure, our brain releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which activates the reward system, making us feel good and encouraging us to seek out similar experiences that trigger this release again; essentially, it's our body's way of signaling that something is enjoyable and worth repeating.

That is what the Gift of Encouragement does!


The gift of encouragement is one of the most important gifts in the world because it releases ‘spiritual dopamine’ that motivates us to forge ahead and do what is required to live out our destiny.


The Gift of Encouragement is similar to the gift of a Florist.



We value the artistry involved in designing and presenting flowers…



The Gift of Encouragement is when God gives a person a specific word at a pivotal time that speaks to their area of need. It is affirming, life-changing, and destiny-shaping.


This gift is so important and precious that it is rare in its purest form.


Though similar to the gift of a florist, the effect is grander and more significant because it demonstrates to the recipient that God sees them, knows them, and cares about their situation – past, present, or future.



Probably the best biblical example of someone with the gift of encouragement is Barnabas. His real name was Joseph, but the apostles called him “Barnabas,” which means “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36). We see Barnabas in Acts 9:27 coming alongside the newly converted Paul and introducing him to a wary church. In Acts 13:43 Barnabas encourages the believers to continue in the grace of God. In Acts 15:36–41 Barnabas chooses John Mark as a ministry partner, despite Mark’s having deserted a previous missionary endeavor. In other words, Barnabas gave Mark a second chance. All through Barnabas’s ministry, he evidenced the gift of encouragement, calling others to his side in order to help, comfort, and encourage them to become more effective for Christ.

What an amazing gift.


When I realized the gift of encouragement was what I had been exercising all these years and in all the places I have done life - in corporate settings, in small groups, one-to-ones, family settings community settings, faith settings; with leaders, workers, and 'the lost, the last, the least and the lame' wherever life took me, because it came so naturally to me and I had done it for so long, I had taken it for granted and not even counted or considered it as a gift, and the outcomes as fruit.


In an instant, all those faces and places came flooding in, and I was greatly encouraged and relieved as I remembered the outcomes of individual conversations, group mentoring, work situations, and so many other instances. Finally, I knew I had a lasting legacy. I knew I had lived a life of significance. Lives have been changed and destinies have been shaped by God, using the gift of encouragement and exhortation He had given me. It just did not look anything like I thought; and was taught.


I realized that becoming is a lifelong process, not a 'platform' process. It is a lifetime investment of living, loving, learning, growing, and giving.

Also, because the gift of encouragement came so naturally to me I thought everyone had it. It took a while to realize that was not the case. It is a rare gift.


I found that out when I needed encouragement, and no one around me had a clue what to do or what to say.


It was alarming!


I wondered why I felt so isolated and unsupported. I always encouraged others, but in my predicament, my family, friends, and church folk looked at me and shook their heads in bewilderment and despair, not knowing how to respond.


My eyes opened to the realization of how precious encouragement is. And that it is a gift.


At a time in history when there is such a great need for this gift, society teaches and trains explicitely how to compete instead.


Websites use AI to find keywords and phrases that are secrets to the success of those ahead in business. There is constant pressure to spy on our ‘competitors’ and outdo them in strategy and delivery with doggedness and ruthlessness.


It is a cutthroat endeavor to succeed in this age of high-tech and AI. Digital Marketing, AI, and algorithms can be quite messy.


The repercussion is there is no incentive to encourage others. If someone is doing well, there is a slight grudge, and if not so well there is a secret glee.

 

How should we respond?


The Kingdom mindset is essential to combat the mindset of contemporary and popular culture.


Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

We have to continually reset and refresh our minds to biblical truth, and rely on the Holy Spirit.


Though we live in the world we are not of it, however, our feet will get dirty on many occasions. For this reason, Jesus taught us to wash our feet often. Simply, to recommit our hearts and minds to what is right and true daily. Such love, wisdom and mercy!


The world is looking for encouragers and encouragement, lets not be fooled by the outward appearance of success and well-being. The pain threshold is very high and gets higher by the day, as media platforms feed it every minute.  


Every person great and small needs to be acknowledged, recognized, and affirmed periodically. God wired us that way.


A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change a life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of encouragement from a leader can inspire a person to reach her potential. John C. Maxwell

Correction does much, but encouragement does more. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

We feed off encouragement. That’s why we look in the mirror each day, but we can only see so much of ourselves. It takes someone else to tell us there is mud on our faces and help us reach up to wipe it off, to help us find the right lip colour, or the right aftershave.


It means laying our lives down for others and seeing in them what they and others cannot see, and lovingly helping them see themselves as God sees them, despite their setbacks or setups.


So being a Florist (an Encourager) is a huge and precious gift.


We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us… if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12:6,8


In conclusion, we do not need to stress whether we are fruit or flower, a tomato or an oak tree.


Just live, love, learn, grow, and we become.


Life has a way of shaping us into what we are intended to be. Time and chance happen to all. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later.

As we stay rooted in Jesus Christ, engaged in life and, embrace every season with hope; we can trust God to work and weave them into an amazing tapestry of beauty and purpose.


As God Works, we continuously Become...



And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28





 

I would like to dedicate this article to an incredible worker who has given his life to serve Jesus since seven years of age when Jesus called him.

And, who has trained many to become workers, courageous workers,

through his writings - God's Generals, and through his teachings all over the world.

I learned the notion of Becoming from sitting in his classes in California,

watching and listening, many years ago.

Thank you.


 


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